By Sam Hooper
Now, just before we get into this story, I'd just like to make it known that since I had to type this out (Sam you lazy bugger) and his writing is less than ledgible, there may be a few bits that don't make a lot of sense. Oh well, too bad! It's just 5 mins worth of dribble anyway :D
Adam Webb came to us as a fresh faced, bright young chap, towards the end of Yr.8. Upon arrival he adopted the cricket as his own choice, with specially classified rules that saw him crown himself the premier cricketer of the district club, country and eventually universe.
But then, there was a change.
He bid farewell to his fields of glory, adopted his Matchbox 20 haircut and pushed himself towards cult hero status (in his own mind at least).
Stories of surfing prowess dominated school community passages as we all found out here what we needed to know about this man's already large contribution to human civilisation.
Somewhere along the line, Adam matured and realised that there was a reason that the feeling deep down inside his stomach developed when he was lonely, and he set out to show the world a new side; sex maniac Webby.
Webby was not always loved by his fellow students. Regular 'Webby-bashing' sessions were held. Though these usually involved snide, behind-the-back comments, there would always be the occasional verbal outburst of the man, or perhaps a little physical confrontation. Don't worry Webb; it was just tall poppy syndrome.
As all great stars do, Webby started to experiment. He found that a couple of Light-Ice's wasn't always enough to satisfy his needs for a good time. He started to buy heavy beer, in six-packs. And, as with all new at trying new things, he started to use heavier drugs. Straight spirits were followed by straight essence. Many a night would be spent, slumped over a fence in pain and disdain at what he was doing to himself. Webby did, though, find his miracle fix, and now sings the praise of what he refers to as 'Wacky Tobacky'.
And so, with a chapter of his life now closing, we must all stand back and take in the wondrous sight of Webb. He is a true life, star(sorry, that last word is pretty unreadable, but that's what I think it says!). Take a bow young man, we salute you. Webby, you will always have a place in out hearts.
(Don't get emotional on us now Webby!)